It only came to my conscious awareness today why I didn’t respond to my yoga teacher’s text from two weeks ago, suggesting a one-on-one on Friday 30th March.
Tomorrow my mother would have been 78. She died two years ago, alone in Florida of a brain aneurysm. Mercifully quick but still, I imagine, rather scary when your body starts attacking you and there’s no one.
These past two weeks I have done nothing of note, a little reading, a little organising, a lot of resting, my body remembered the anniversary was coming even if I didn’t. How marvellous are those cells, the DNA that is her DNA, quietly putting me to rest in remembrance of her. Wow!
I was watching Oprah and Iyanla on YouTube last night and the message Iyanla put across to one young lady was “refuse to fail”, whatever it is that you want to do, refuse to fail. Those three words jolted me into the remembrance of my mother, the day of her birth 30th March 1934 and the day of her death 30th August 2010. My mother was tenacious, some might stay stubborn, she was fearless, some might say reckless, she played to win, gambled and lost on more than one occasion, but she never quit. There was a refusal to fail etched deep inside her and how blessed am I because if she had it, I must have some of it too.
Today I look forward to starting a new life in a new country where I will be happy as well as successful with the blessing of my mother’s DNA from which I declare that I refuse to fail.